"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!" — Robert Orben

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.