Andy Kindler

I'm tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that.

The Comedy Bar is an intimate club, which I prefer. I refuse to play theatres, because large empty spaces make me nervous, and I don't enjoy the echo. I'm no sell out. Literally.

I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country.

Louie is hugely talented. But I get very annoyed at the way the media... say, 'Louis C.K. is the greatest stand-up in the world.' He's not the greatest stand-up in the world. He's not funnier than Dave Attell.

I am the smartest comedian in the history of the world.

You can't go wrong with pizza, unless it's terrible pizza.

I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I'm in a deli somewhere, and someone says they love that Adam Sandler movie where he dresses up as his twin sister - well, I don't want to make people feel bad for how they feel about things. I'm always courteous, not mean.

I've never been paid as a prognosticator. I don't get a lot of work as a mentalist.

I'm not really in Louis CK's circle. It'd probably be harder if we were really close and I went off on him.

My goal isn't to wake up in the morning and hurt people's feelings.

My manager came up with the name 'State of the Industry,' and it was just one of those things. It just took off. Well, I don't know about 'took off.' I'm not in the stratosphere.

I came out to L.A. in '78 to be a musician. I didn't get into comedy until the mid-Eighties.

I'm not trying to do anything except entertain America.

If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn't work that way... I have no interest in hurting people's feelings.

I will say that I wasn't susceptible to Tony Robbins-like pitches, even as a younger man.

I did not sell Amway, but I sold Shaklee, which was an Amway-type product sold through multi-level marketing.

I've sold a lot of different product. Very briefly, I sold Time Life Books on the phone.

I sold door to door for a couple years. As the years recede from the event, I remember less about it, which is probably good for my mind. It was home improvement in Cerritos California, Buena Park, that area.

I would like Albert Brooks to have received the Oscars for best actor, best director and best screenplay for 'Modern Romance.' I love that movie.

I'm interested in Jeff Bridges. I love that guy. And I did like Carey Mulligan in 'An Education.' And I love Meryl Streep, but if they could ban 'Julie & Julia,' I'd be in favor of that.