1896 – 1996 • American • Comedian
If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
How can I die? I'm booked.
