Josh Billings

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.

You'd better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain't so.

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.