Will Cuppy

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country.

If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.