Pet

It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young.

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.

My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

Many cats are the death of the mouse.

Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties.

Only very brave mouse makes nest in cat's ear.

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

I can't imagine God not allowing my dog into heaven.

A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better.

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them.

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language.

Pets have more love and compassion in them than most humans.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

It's difficult to understand why people don't realize that pets are gifts to mankind.