Timothy Simons

There is that great thing of D.C. being Hollywood for ugly people. There's very distinct crossover behaviors.

My first job in L.A. was actually playing an employee in a Best Buy commercial, but I played a bad employee at another store. I also worked at a commercial casting company running cameras and session directing.

After school, I was planning to jump from regional theater to regional theater.

I don't have actors in my family, but everyone is pretty artistic.

I've done a pretty good job of curating a Twitter feed that doesn't make me hate the world.

I like sort of esoteric and weird Twitter jokes. But I actually unfollow people if they make jokes about a celebrity's death within the first two minutes of that celebrity dying.

There is a part of me that really just thinks it would be so funny to see the 'Veep' characters in 'Game of Thrones.'

I used to love going to shows and finding new bands, but the Internet takes the fun out of it. Like a band? You can buy and download every single song they have ever done within five minutes.

If you didn't watch 'The Shield,' you should stop everything you are doing and go back and watch 'The Shield.'

I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do and more often at what other people do.

My dad was a photographer, so we had all these studio portraits of us.

My dad's a photographer, and my sister is a writer and a poet. My little brother is a mandolin player - he's a bluegrass musician. It's always been a part of the family.

I really wanted to go to a city and get involved in a theater scene and a theater community. I had some friends who had moved out to Chicago and had said really good things about it and about the work. I didn't care at that time about making money.

Unless you're playing a historical figure, a writer or director can change their minds. And sometimes your job is to make them change their minds - to make them believe that you're the one that can do it.

It's much harder to get a job if nobody wants you around.

There are people I've met in L.A. who kind of only talk about the business. Because maybe they think that's the best move.

I'll believe I made it when I'm 100 years old, I'm still able to get work, and they're about to put me in a coffin, and I'll be like, 'Yeah, OK, it went all right.' But until then, I'm not saying it.

I'm saying nothing new that Dave Pasquesi is really good at what he does.

We live in a world in which whatever you do has a parody account online in moments.

I took one class at Second City called Improv for Actors, and that was it, and that was only because my agent told me I had to.